Lately, I feel like someone has given me a pill to calm my emotions. It have felt this way for a few months. In the past, I would get worked up about nonsense things. But even those things now do not make me emotional. For example, I feel as though just a few months ago I was a chronic worrier. These last few months though, my body does not react that way to things. For example, I was worried about my suitcase getting lost in the airport during my trip in July. Now when I think about it, I do not have that same sense of worry. I more or less just think, “Whatever happens, happens.” Even when we took that trip in March to Texas, I wasn’t worried about the suitcase getting lost. I also used to cry a lot-at anything and everything- but now I do not cry. I have some guesses as to what I did that makes my life feel differently now.
I have started exercising more. I joined a gym back in October, but from October to December I still had my emotions. I think that last big “freak out” of emotions I had was in January (I think? I was just about opening an account) and that was the last time I felt pressured that my emotions were off. I suppose from January to now I have been exercising a lot more. I even had this college gym class I really enjoyed. I want to start exercising even more now.
Exercising is PROBABLY the reason my emotions have been in check lately, but I am not sure that is the only thing. Some other things I did included Meditation, which helped, but it is pretty hard to focus aha. Another thing I have noticed is that I have been using my phone less. I rarely text anyone anymore, and have been spending even more time with my family than I had previously(we still spent a lot of time together). I have also been reading some great books lately. I am also taking a Piano class this semester, and playing piano is very relaxing–most of the time. Especially once you get to know a song then you can play it over and over and think about different things in your head, but still staying focused at the same time. This is kind of what happens during exercising, too, my mind just drifts off. Maybe this is what has changed? Also, this semester at college has been pretty “easy”. The classes I have this semester have a decent amount of work, but not too much. Also, I only have one class that has in class tests, so I really only have to study hard for that class. The other classes have papers, and while writing is not my strong suit, they have been going pretty well.
I am taking a big trip in July and I am ready for it! Now, I do not feel worried, anxious, or sad, like I had previously. I mostly feel excited and happy. These past few months, I have tired to feel worried about it, but I honestly can’t. It feels like there is a wall between my emotions and I, and I cannot break through it.
Maybe its true and Time Heals All Wounds, in this case, healing my crazy emotions. Maybe its just that I am growing up, so my emotions decided to even themselves out? I feel more confident in my life, I have been more social, but I have spent a lot of time by myself. I have better posture when I walk. Could that be a reason? Maybe these emotions have gone away since I have been embracing my tallness(haha)? Even things I should feel upset about, the feelings only come for a moment, a twinge, and then leaves.
I am not complaining, just very curious. Maybe it is because I finally have a set plan for my future. Or that I am starting to discover different opportunities, different plans for the future (cause there are some exciting ones y ESTOY MUY EMOCIONADA! 😀 )